My brother may have one the sandbox, but I two the sandbox.

I accidentally elbowed the soap dish holder thing on the wall of my shower this morning. I felt nothing, but definitely heard something crack. Leaning in close - I can’t see anything without my contacts - I inspected the grout around the soap dish. I barely wiggled it and pulled it right off the wall.

I am Superman.

And this was my lesson today: If you find a piece of cactus that does not appear to have any spines, avoid the temptation to pick it up. When you finally realize that it does have very tiny spines, they will have embedded themselves in your palms and fingers like little clumps of hair-thin splinters. You will also feel bad about the spines embedded in the hand of the guy who was forced to catch the piece of cactus you tossed his way.

The state of toothpaste is … well, it’s as if Crest and Colgate and the rest get their ideas from fifth graders. Unless you want plain old peppermint flavor, you’ve got to put up with all the marketing gimmicks. I’m surprised they don’t make toothpaste with Nerds or Gummi Bears mixed in. I happen to not like peppermint toothpaste that much, so I do what I can.

Spearmint, which has long been my paste of choice, seems to be increasingly difficult to find. Crest makes a flavor called Cinnamon Rush, and I enjoy that quite a bit. It tastes like it’s made from Red Hots. But even that is becoming difficult to find. Colgate makes a cinnamon flavor, but it’s not as good. And it has what they call “mini breath strips” mixed in. The huh? What do you need breath strips for if you’re brushing your teeth? I don’t know how many times I rinsed my mouth after brushing only to find several pieces of mini breath strip confetti stuck to my lips.

I tried a lemon flavor, which I think was made by Crest. Sounded appealing at the time. It wasn’t. I’ve been using orange flavor Listerine (the Target brand, actually), which tastes pretty good. So, I decided to try out Crest’s Orange Blast or Citrus or whatever they call it toothpaste. It happens to have Scope mixed in. And again, what’s the point of the Scope? It’s good to use mouthwash; I’m okay with that. But Scope? It’s not even like it kills germs or bacteria like Listerine does. Lame.

Anyway, the flavor is good, but the Scope makes it significantly less viscous. I forget all the time and nearly squeeze out half the tube because it flows so readily. It’s like brushing my teeth with foam rather than paste.

One last positive note. I’m a pretty messy toothbrusher, and for some reason with Crest plus Scope, I end up with less mess. No complaints there.

I bought my first pair of blue jeans with a button fly. But that’s not the reason I bought them. In fact, I purchased them in spite of the fly.

Here’s my question. Does anyone specifically go looking for button-fly jeans? Are there any advantages? If not, why do manufacturers keep making them? Is it all about looking vintage? Because, really, who’s going to know you’ve got them on? Plus, they’re tedious to fasten and unfasten. Are they a holdover from before the invention of the zipper? Maybe zippers weren’t that great back in the day, and there was actually a choice to be made. Like paper or plastic. I dunno.

Speaking of zippers, are there such things as zipper innovations? Because it seems like, when I was a child, I learned that a stuck zipper could fixed by “greasing” it with graphite from a pencil. But I don’t think I’ve had to do that in forever. Are zippers just better made these days?

[Listening to: The Rakes - Retreat]